Category Archives: Jury Is OUT Reviews

My opinion and nobody elses

Marga’s Humpday News: Castro Naked Guys

More Marga Friends,

You’re still here, Yay! It’s been a slow news week. Here’s a little chat about the weather, Inception and Naked Guys in San Francisco. See you next Wednesday!

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A Real Blogger

Hello Readers,

I’ve home tonight with a cold and in denial over it. If I wasn’t sick I would be out at every cool soiree giving out flyers,promoting “Marga’s Laugh Party” and wearing out my welcome. I spent this evening learning that even if you cut the mold off a not- that-old pumpkin bolani bread the rest will still taste like mold and probably is not good for you. I learned that after one bite so I’m probably not poisoned yet. My dad was raised in Cuba and has influenced me to tempt fate rather than waste food. I remember his shock seeing me drink half a glass of milk and pour the rest down the sink.

I caught the last half of the new Robin Williams special on HBO “Weapon of Self Destruction” Most of it was funny and inspiring- but then, well you heard one dick joke you heard em all. At least if you don’t have one and especially if you don’t use one. He did bring his usual fresh insights re: our life and times. Robin stays current in material and fashion. Nobody ever talks about Robin’s fashion sense but ever since he got famous, at least, he always wore cool stuff, glass frames, haircuts kind of flashy, comedy chic (or is that a contradiction in terms.) In this special he wore something non descript and black.

Pink's boob sweat rocks

I don’t have HD but towards the end I could see the sweat here and there but not too bad. This is of interest to me because more than once my comic persona has been victim to boob,belly and pit  sweat if I wear the wrong fabric. I lost a great video recording of my show because of it and I don’t sweat much compared to a guy. It’s obvious how much playing live means to Robin but it’s scary to watch how hard he pushes himself on stage especially so soon after the heart surgery.His material is strong enough it doesn’t need the mania anymore. He can play understated characters in movies this might be a good time for him to try pulling back in his stand-up delivery.It would be an interesting change of pace and I wouldn’t have to worry about him blowing a gasket. Because I want to see more of Robin, dick jokes and all.

The Lovely Justin Bond

I also watched Ugly Betty on demand because my friend Justin Bond had a part in it playing -a drag queen. I know how hard Justin had to work for this challenging role. Justin aced it, almost made me forget all about that sizzling Vanessa Williams. One of the subplots in this episode involved blogging. Betty was winning a BLOBBY award for her new blog to “inspire just one person.” Mark, her queen co-worker said “A blog how six years ago. No that was mean. How two years ago” So me and Betty are both a little behind the trend here and I doubt that this blog of mine should or would inspire anyone but I found a blog tonight that hit me like a thunder crack.I was just aimlessly surfing and sniffling and I landed in a story that was painful, raw and joyful. What this woman is doing with her writing is big. If you’d like to experience someone heroic who writes like an angel start with this entry  http://tanyavlach.wordpress.com/2009/08/29/21-grow-a-new-eye/

Kindness

I found a pocket of civilization

I found a pocket of civilization

I was planning to do a V-Log tonight. Bought a cheap little webcam that gave me that witness protection pixillated look. But it was not be. I was excited to just ramble and not worry about my grammar or using you’re instead of your. People lord it over you when you make that mistake. Like you stepped on a puppy’s foot. I could speak in fragments and wouldn’t have to worry about punctuation. I could blog and not have to use any of my education. Woulda been nice. BUT WordPress wouldn’t let me.

My life and apt. are in pre travel chaos. I just went downtown to buy some serious rain boots for Scotland. Girlfriend told me the brand to get is “Hunters.”  Went to Macy’s which is such an American store. No salespeople anywhere. Customers running amok. I found one employee by the register who said they don’t carry rainboots at this time of year. I should be able to buy rainboots and bathing suits whenever I want. That’s how I was raised. Nordstroms however is a place where you get treated right. Katie said they didn’t keep them on the floor but she could go find me a pair- what size and color?

These boots are official. They come mucked up and they don’t make half sizes. The box has two stamps from Edinburgh Scotland where they are made. That’s where I’m spending August. Blimey! How red is that flag that the most durable rainboots in the world are made where I’m going. I’m heading towards rain. I just packed my last zicam swabs. I’m getting a scratchy throat thinking about it. Really I’m thrilled to go to the UK in any weather.

I have been hitting up all my friends who know people in London and Scotland to spread the word and I have received lots of help and well wishes. (I’ll be playing The Royal Vauxhall Tavern in London 7/29 and 7/31  Here’s this link with all the show and ticket info http://bit.ly/Wvpas After London I play Edinburgh at The Zoo southside. )The comments I’m getting in the blog have been great. Today I was late for everything so I used my Xootr (which is like a Razor for grown ups) It’s like a skateboard for nerds. So I got my hair trimmed from Deena at Glamarama. She also runs her own radio program on Pirate Cat Radio. She was especially entertaing today.

Poc Chuc Mayan Restaurant

Poc Chuc Mayan Restaurant

Next order of biz was an electronics purchase at Best Buy as I turned down a random and desolate street I found the tanatalizing “Poc Chuc” Mayan restaurant . I had to eat before dealing with Best Buy. I ordered delicate and tasty “pulled turkey” taco and vegie empanada. Tortillas homemade. Everything stylish and down home at the same time. And what made this my new favorite restaurant of all time was the homemade blistering hot sauce that came with my little plate. The place was pretty full for lunch. The crowd was pretty mixed but there were quite a few intellectual Latinos there. That’s a good sign. I had an horchata which isn’t more than milk with cinammon in most places. Here they brought it to you in a stein and it tasted like – what breast milk must taste like to a baby. That’s how I felt drinking that horchata. One of the waitresses was mean at first but when she saw my horchata face she cut me some slack. The bill came to $8.64. Crazy no? I left a good tip. Trust me.

Today I noticed how powerful kindness i from my friends  of course but when it came from strangers- it blows the mind. Not everyone was kind today. But I was great. I was kind to everyone- Oh I did want to yell at an old lady but I didn’t. Yay for me.  I picked up my last organic peaches before I leave for the UK from the infamous Rainbow grocery. Ran into an artist friend Seinberg who hooked me up with the produce guy who sliced up fruit for me to try. Then another peach customer joined us. She didn’t want to engage with me. I kept saying things like “Yeah I’m going away so these will be the last peachesI’m getting” She didn’t ask me where I was going. She was just touching all the peaches looking for ripe ones. Then she said “This is the best time of year for them. This is heaven” But really if it was heaven she and I would have hugged. We would have been each other peaches. You’re probably thinking hey Marga what about the nectarines? I consider nectarines to be smooth peaches. And they were sweet too.

But here was the highlight of a day with many of them like

  • petting this pretty eyed beagle outside of Peet’s coffee for fifteen minutes. It had eyes like my departed Jack Russel.
  • Then there was the foamy mouth man at the travel store who helped me decide on what street maps of London would be the best. We both were into lamination.
  • A guy on the street who asked me if I had a back brake on my scooter. When I told him I used my foot. He said i should get some skater shoes. Does Hunter make those I wondered?
  • And the guy named Randy who walked of fthe bus with me  noticed my Nordstroms bag and gave me his card to get some cosmetics at his shop.

But the biggest moment for my heart  was after the peaches–I was pushing and rolling my scooter under the freeway. Peaches in my backpack. A sack of Best Buy gadgetry hanging from my handlebar. And a homeless looking guy is riding his bike in the other direction. There was a sense of recognition. Hey we both have wheels and bags on the side walk on foggy day. It could be awkward and I look away or I be a human being. That’s what he did. We passed each other on our contraptions and gave each other a dignified nod. And the world felt warm.

Lunch was so good I started eating it before I could take the picture

Lunch was so good I started eating it before I could take the picture

Rachel Dratch

It’s Friday night. sbGirlfriend and I are in bed watching “Spring Breakdown” written by Rachel Dratch and starring Rachel, Amy Poehler and Parker Posey. I was leaning towards renting Frost/Nixon but I let her pick the movie. She scored! This picture is way better than House Bunny and if that’s not enough to get it in your Netflix – Kristen from the MTV reality soap “Laguna Beach” is in it.

Rachel Dratch

Rachel Dratch

Wait!  The hot villain chick just kicked a chiuhahua that was humping her and I am considering FAILING this flick but Girlfriend won’t let me. I  hate when people smack animals in comedies. I know -no animals were hurt etc. but it’s still a bad message- to an audience not as smart as we are. In “Hangover’ the dude knocks a chicken off a desk. I wanted to walk out of the movie. This crap is in almost every comedy.

JL

Jane Lynch

Despite fake animal cruelty this terribly titled SPRING BREAKDOWN is my SLEEPER DVD and MUST SEE recommendation for anyone who loves female comics!  Rachel Dratch has written a better than average jiggle giggle with a juicey part for Jane Lynch. If you don’t know who Jane Lynch is how did you find me?

Rachel plays one of her stock dweebs here, who discovers beer and ferociously hits on young dudes. I’ll take anything with this woman. I can’t believe she’s not more famous than Tina Fey.  I love her like the French love Jerry Lewis. Rachel Dratch is the funniest woman I’ve ever seen in my life and the funniest performer on Saturday Night Live next to Will Ferrel.

Here in order are my favorite SNL ladies of all time

  • Rachel Dratch
  • Molly Shannon
  • Amy Poehler
  • Maya Rudolph
  • Nora Dunn
  • Jane Curtain
  • Cheri Oteri
  • Anna Gasteyer
  • Tina Fey
  • Kristen Witteg
tina-fey-01-af-1

Miss Fey

I can feel the controversy heating up. Sizzlean! Tina Fey lovers will be miffed. I think she’s smart and very funny but, besides her Sarah Palin, she didn’t do any over the top characters like the others on the list. She functioned mostly as a writer on the show and a great news anchor. I’m sure it was thanks to the Tina Fey years that SNL had some of it’s strongest female driven sketches. There’s more click to keep reading. Continue reading

SQUID!

I took my girlfriend out for dinner tonight. Spontaneous splurging. I was going to get her flowers but who wouldn’t rather have a fancy dinner over flowers besides an aneroxic.
I’ve been wanting to write food reviews but there are so many food reviews. I know the part of me that wants to be a food critic is a geek who never felt loved. Well now you know. I have to blog every day till July 25th even when I’m sleep deprived like today.
We went to a sharing plate joint and I said ‘get anything you want baby’ and she said ‘what about calamari?’ Sure. Something fried with dipping sauce to make her happy. When our waitperson repeated back the order she said SQUID in a very serious way. We both noticed but thought the waitress was being fancy until the SQUID arrived unfried -scientific, naked and reaching to us. ‘You don’t have to eat it’ I told my girlfriend – who can get squeamish over blueberries. But she bravely downed a piece. ‘Good sauce’ she said. My turn next I soaked my piece of SQUID in as much sauce and cilantro as it could hold, closed my eyes swallowed and it -was not so bad. Our dinner became an episode of Survivor. We had to eat the squid or leave the island.I tried closing my eyes while dipping the squid but that was hard with chopsticks. Maybe if my girlfriend fed me the squid with my eyes closed – but nobody wants to see that being done in a restaurant. Even with your eyes closed the nubbley bare arms of the squid skeeved us out to the point where I called out to the waiter “Please take this little plate away! Yes it was wonderful but we can’t look at it.”  I don’t blame the restaurant Eos on Carl street in San Francisco. The waitress tried to warn us and their Ahi mango rolls and Borney salad with hazelnuts were outstanding. We’ll be back again.Thanks for reading I’m going to punch myself now.

Serendipity

I watched Serendipity on an airplane once back when you had to pay to watch the movie but you could sneak your walkman headphones in the ear jack and watch for free. Those walkmans were awesome BTW. Or if you were afraid of breaking the rules you could pull the arm rest up to your ear and listen through the ear jack. It was still stealing the movie, but so pathetic, what flight attendant would scold you.
Serendipity was adequate then and adequate now while I do laundry on a Friday night. Why do the plots of so many chick flicks revolve around two people in the ‘wrong’ relationships meeting their soul mates, losing their soulmates, finding them again through a twist of fate, often on their wedding day, and leaving their fiances at the alter? Chick flick loving chicks should not support these films because in real life they will be the ones who get dumped and not for his soulmate but for his soul ‘ho.
I can enjoy this nonsense living in CA where I am not legally allowed to have a wedding much less call it off. These straights be crazy! 
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Molly Shannon plays the best friend of the home wrecker.
Molly can do no wrong. I was in the laundromat for the beginning of the movie but I think it had something to do with ‘Serendipity,’ that overpriced dessert spot in NYC that makes a 5,000 chocolate treat with gold flecks. My mom took me there once back when celebrities used to go (back when walkmans were the rage) but we didn’t see anybody famous. I think the board of health closed it down for vermin not too long ago. I was going to have a rating sytem for my reviews- 4 stars, two thumbs etc. but there’s so little to choose from, in movies especially, a simple Pass/Fail should do the trick and if it’s really good I’ll give it a Serendipitous! 
I have to put my clothes in the dryer now. But the next movie on Bravo begins. It’s ‘You’ve got mail’ and I believe Meg Ryan will dump Greg Kinnear to have cyber sex with Tom Hanks. Call me a chick flick psychic. Dave Chapelle is in this one playing the Molly Shannon role.
Marga says- SERENDIPITY is: Serendipitous! NOT : ( but it does barely PASS