F it.

DEAR READERS- I HAVE TO BLOG IN THE INTERNET CAFE. I KNOW THERE ARE LOTS OF GRAMMAR ERRORS. SENTENCE FRAGMENTS. I HAVE TO RUN AND CAN”T FIX IT. F IT! ENJOY IF YOU CAN MAKE SENSE OF IT. xm

I really like the Scots. I really really like them. Especially the plumbers. Who are at my flat almost every other day. Because we have a haunted shower it was the only thing I liked about the flat. A digital control you just press high medium or low for the amount of flow and then move the dial for the temperature. But after a week it began to turn itself on. At least something in our flat is getting turned on. And it would spew cold water like that. And the plumbers would come and fix it for a day. The last plumber yesterday called it a nightarrrrrr and pulled the box out and hacked off the cabinet under the kitchen sink for no good reason. My GF is hot and the best and I want no other but sometimes my sex imagination turns itself on. You know the handyman fantasy- and I’m totally gay- but it’s the elephant in the room or the plumber in the shower. Anyway I forgot about it and went about my business as he made panicky calls to other plumbers about this nightmarrr and he kept running out for valves and I forgot about him until we both turned the corner at the same time and were nose to nose.

It was awkward for both of us because he knows I know he knows I know that fantasy. And he said he’s be be taking the digital box away and another plumber would show up on Monday. So I’ve been taking whore baths that’s what my  gay guy housemate calls it.  And this is how I’ve been going on stage this weekend. I also dropped my gold lame jacket and ‘matching’ boots– I’m wearing my new balance sneakers and a t shirt.  I don’t have a dressing room now I don’t have a shower.  .Parts of me are dirty.And tomorrow I might eat out of a pan

I am finally fringe.

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4 responses to “F it.

  1. Thanks Ms. Gomez, for making me blow Mad River Pale Ale out my nose in Eureka.

  2. I walked into a bar in Belize that was a hangout for Scottish soldiers. They seemed to understand me, but I couldn’t make out a fraction of what they were saying. It went like this:
    “Hello, I just drove down from California.”
    “Wha’ ah bleed’n’ buhf lol whack’n nigh-bluh.”
    “Um, you don’t say.”
    “Whah-n’t leh boh-blin dashplog bid’n whadn’it?”
    It went on thus.
    We’re looking forward to seeing you in Eureka, California on Friday!

  3. Plumbing is a nightarrrrr on that island. In one place I stayed, the shower was like a mist or low-hanging cloud. At another, the water came out at a force equivalent to a fire hose.

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