Bad Mami

Dear Readers
I hope I haven’t lost you. I don’t know why I haven’t been blogging for almost an entire month but this must change. I’m at a bagel shop in San Jose CA a few hours before a matinee gig. Two shows today at the groovy Latino Arts center MACLA. It’s been a challenge to sell two shows because unbekownst to me (the spelling of that word is unbeknownst to me and using it twice has weakened my Latina cred) Linda Ronstadt is giving a free concert in the park at 3pm on a sunny day. 3 pm is when my show begins in a dark theater. My second show begins at 7p the same time that Santana and Los Lobos perform at the gigantic HP pavillion. And today is the Mariachi festival in San Jose and I forgot my trumpet.

My point is don’t go into show business.

EDINBURGH FRINGE – DONE THAT

My high tech interview for Grace The Spot by Ally Maxwell

I am winding up my Edinburgh Fringe after 25 shows and dozens of guest sets here and there at secret underground cabarets including the Underbelly where I descended 5 flights of stairs from ground level,performing sometimes to people who don’t understand English are very drunk or just incapable of laughing or who may have been ghosts. I have been able to say just about anything to these audiences- being gay is no big deal here and there are a lot of atheists in Europe. It is impossible to shock an Edinburgh Fringe audience. But having an American accent puts me at a disadvantage. They look down on us even Obama doesn’t help the George Bush effect. This is payback for me since I never liked Benny Hill. I got some press 4stars in the list and Scotsgay, favorable mention in the Groggy Squirrel (everyone’s a critic here even rodents) and I spoke with the infamous blog Grace The Spot you can read that interview here

Before climbing Arthur's Seat

I have taken one solid day to be a tourist and wandered around Holyrood Park climbed all the way up to Arthur’s Seat for a 360 degree view of the city on the only warm day in this damp cold month where you could be out without a coat. I have eaten Black Pudding knowing it was blood and oatmeal but only could handle vegetarian haggis.

Making it to THE TOP!

After I climbed back down

I got to see some great shows and am still blown away by London’s Chickenshed performance of “Crime Of The Century” about knife crime among youth in the UK. Some of the guys in the cast had been coming to my show and I was finally able to check them out yesterday. Really inspiring physical theater. I wish I did that sort of thing. Also got to finally see my twitter friend Ben Lerman’s funny show at Café Renroc. He storms the ukelele and makes me want to be a gay guy. He also has a great flat here with Wi Fi and the two of us created a very dark blog at two in the morning. Got to know a funny latina from NYC a little better. Blanca Dominguez had a good laugh at her show Blurrr. Then there’s my new pal in London Sian Hutchinson who had a smashing success here. She’s quite sassy and I have some incriminating videos of her taken at the Pear Tree. But I can’t find them so here’s a picture of another dazzling performer I dazzled, Micaela Leon from Kabarett Berlin

Scotsgay's Jean Genie, Micaela Leon, amazing chanteuse, and me

The biggest secret hit here is a show called Cabaret Whore starring Sarah Louise Young at the ‘free fringe.’ This is an offshoot of the EdFringe you don’t pay to get in but you have to pay to get out- whatever you can but some performers are more skilled at getting the big pounds out of you. Like the lady who plays Cabaret Whore as an Edith Piaf rival wielding a knife she says “Performers come to Edinburgh to die” that’s why all the performers love her. If I ever came back here-not to die- I would do the free fringe. But I don’t know if I can do this again for 3 weeks. It’s a money loser and there’s no internet really. You have to go sit places and buy crap you don’t want to drink or eat (with the money you’re not making) to use WiFi and the signal is weak. And there’s no affordable vegetables fresh fruit or TV. But it was a great experience all in all and I’ll be very happy to be back in the uncouth USA.

Ben Lerman and I having some giggles

Rocky Road

I spaced out and missed a deadline to apply for a NACA conference that I stood a good chance of getting. This might have made me financially solvent next year with all the college gigs you can get by auditioning. I’ve been sitting with this news for two hours. It feels tight in my heart. But I know I’ll be fine. I have great things ahead and I’ll find another way to play colleges next year. I need an intern.

I bought a big hunk of  milk chocolate rocky road and I’m self medicating with it. Tonight I’ll be at the Rrazz Room catching up with by good friend Rene’ over dinner before we  watch Dick Gregory interviewed by Mort Sahl . At least I found a good day to realize my huge blunder. I need to laugh babies. Well that’s it kids, my downer blog.  Forget this one and read yesterday’s it’s super upbeat.

Working it Out in San Francisco

Hello! If you have any friends in London and Scotland here is where I’ll be. The Royal Vauxhall Tavern July 29(9pm) and 31(6:30pm) and then Edinburgh August 6 through August 31 everynight at 9 at the Zoo Southside.

I live a charmed life and make more $$ than a person should earn if they aren’t sitting at a sewing machine, standing on their feet for eight hours,teaching kids, waiting tables,or digging a ditch. As Sarah Palin said on her twitter ‘I have gratefullness for that.’ (The correct word is gratitude Sarah.) Some nights I get a big check. But when I’m home in San Francisco on a Monday or Tuesday I might play for free or like tonight -for just enough cash to buy a six pack of fake beer, a six pack of lo-cal vanilla ice cream sandwiches, a bottle of fancy orange juice, and a four pack of extra soft Charmin and a cab ride home. Buying groceries with the cash from these gigs is a bonus. We really just do these gigs for stage time.We try the new material or polish the same stuff we’ve been doing. And we encourage and are encouraged by the other comics.

The last two nights

Tally Ho

One week from today I will be on flight from CA to London where I spend a week sightseeing with GF and previewing my show All That Gomez at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. GF goes back home Aug 2 and I somehow get myself to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival where I do 25 shows in a row beginning Aug 6 at Zoo southside. In Edinburgh I will share an apt with four other whacky performers. It will be a reality show that VH-1 could only dream of.. I am trying not to let my hypochandria kick in but I just listened to a story on This American Life about bedbugs.Some travellers try to find the best clubs in foreign lands I will be researching the best hospitals and 24 hour pharmacies.